I don't often talk or write here but now I want to make a reflection.

When you lose a close family member it is always painful. I know most of you have experienced the same. Still you are never prepared when it happen. This is my first.

You feel vulnarable and small. You have a new kind of respect for the one who is no longer here. Grateful for the love and care you were given so unselfish when they were alive. You make a strong and painful step forward in life and you will never, ever be the same.

In situations like this you expect your relatives to stick together but when it turns out to be the opposite you can just shake your head and think - what makes people so selfish and greedy. So, a loss can also turn out to be a loss of some of those who you thought were true friends and family.

I guess I will never get the answer why.